too many books on the bedroom floor

so... i attempted to seperate books that i have read from the books that i need to read from the books that just sit on the shelf to make me look cool and smart and i realized that the books that i need to read way out weigh all categories. This is really depressing because i have no time to do NOTHING. i try to write music and i find i don't have time, i try to read books and i don't have time, i want to workout and i DONT HAVE TIME! crazy, i need more time and i just can't find it. but oh well... thats it, no time.

Schools need reform, or actually just need to retro-form

ok, this is my uneducated synopsis on the present day education system. IT SUCKS! Ok, sure state mandated benchmarks are being made on the daily, but seriously, school is more than just stats. What happened to the school system that formed kids into educated adults, not just in curriculum but in life! I feel that we are missing the mark big time. I don't blame the educators because they are wrapped in a system that is flawed and are victim to narrow minded lesson plans, if anything i feel that our educators (at least the ones that try) are the only saving graces that our education system has. they are the front lines in a war against a depleting generation in all respects, many times they have more influence than the children's parents do, give them a chance to teach, and teach well. TO BE CONTINUED...

I hate mornings, I love mornings

why do i love mornings some days and hate them others? oh yea, because i live in oregon and when it rains in the morning it makes me want to die. maybe its because i have to go work in the rain and cold in the winter at 7 in the morning? anyway, i just hate rainy cold mornings. BUT, when it is sunny and i can wake to see the sunrise there is no better day. I also like getting up early to get a butt load of stuff done, pray, eat a good breakfast and utilize the whole day, but unfortunately we are getting into rainy season. We'll see what happens.

One thing that is amazing in the morning though is morning prayer, it is the first thing during the day so why not start it right by aknowledging He is God and that i am reliant on him! also it is just the right way to start the morning and to set my mind straight with where it needs to be for his will. PRAY PRAY PRAY

why do crapy things happen?

as i was getting my hair cut this morning i was chatting with my stylist and we started our conversation like any other, small talk first, 'how are you? whats new?' and then this conversation mysteriously transformed into a discussion of crappy things that have happened in both our lives, mainly describing all the tradgedy that both of us had experienced in the past year. Unfortunately she had lost her brother less than a year ago, i had lost a good friend of mine to cancer, one of our friend's father had passed away, and the list goes on. So the main question of the conversation was, why does crappy stuff happen?

I think the easiest way to look at this is to understand that we will never understand why things like this happen. we will never fully know why God permits things like this to wreck our lives because ultimately He has a greater plan for all things, and through His permitting of crappy things, there are, I believe, greater things to come. Personally i would gladly subdue myself to crappy things for the rest of my life, knowing that God's provision and divine will is ultimate truth and ultimately what needs to happen in order for this world to be a better place.

spiritual gifts

what deems a gift as spiritual? spiritual gifting is something that i feel is commonly put in a box definition as something that is given only to believers, and those who are involved in the church but i would go as far as to say that any gift imparted on anyone, christian or not, are spiritually imparted because we are made in Christ-likeness.

God loves us, He created us, and we are in His image in one way or another, we have personalities and abilities that are our responsibility to use those for the kingdom of God. The gift is defined in how they are used.

p.e.s.m.

So i filled out an application for a small school in Milwaukie, Oregon that is hosted by my home church's denominational conference. I was a bit skeptical at first and after three days of class i am still skeptical. I just feel like although they are involved in explaining theology and diving into the study of scripture and how to logically apply it to ministry, i feel that it is heavily weighed towards, and at times supported, by denominational theory. The fact that it is so strongly supported by denominational declarations makes me wonder if all these theories and statments are from scripture or if these things are just commonalities among leaders over time of the denomination.

Although i am weary of this, the teachings and teachers are solid. I know it sounds as though i am bashing everything i learned form these packed three days of class, but i really do feel that the classes were great. If anything, its just nice to be involved in theological discussion because it gets the wheels turning to explore and navigate scriptures which is good for me.

I hope its not obvious, but i am actually in class right now and quite distracted so i will update when i get out, maybe my thoughts will be more complete! peace